Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
