Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
