I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
