Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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