so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
