its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
