There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
