and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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