Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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