i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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