I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What a fucking waste of an outfit
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
