having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize