gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
