laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
