I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
