Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
