redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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