It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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