I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
