So drunk its hurt
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
