sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
