drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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