After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
