Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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