I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Every concussion has its silver lining
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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