You're so nebulous sometimes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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