Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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