College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Randomize