You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
