Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
