Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
