I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
