Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
