u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
