imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
