Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
