I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I sprained my soul last night
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
