I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
