I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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