Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
