you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
