he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
