Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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