You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She bit a glass in half.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
40s are totally the cure
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
