I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
