we have pet lesbian snakes
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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