Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Randomize
