My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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