we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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