i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
