Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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