you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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