What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
