its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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