No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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