so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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