U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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