i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
