So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
