Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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